Who are your picks for Team U.S.A.?

Bearing in mind I don’t give a toss for the Olympics, let’s compare America’s projected team

The HockeyChat.ca USA bureau at work in the Olympic coverage war room, poring over NHL rosters, and comparing guns.

The HockeyChat.ca USA bureau at work in the Olympic coverage war room, poring over NHL rosters, and comparing guns.

By HockeyChat.ca Staff

This is the most holy day on the Christian calendar. So, let’s show due reverence and worship by discussing America’s Ice Hockey team for an Olympics that is more than a year off. GOD BLESS AMERICA! FUCK YEAH! Like most of the quadrennial games since the re-introduction of professionals, America starts off as a favourite for the auric laurel. But, they usually find a way to fuck that up beyond all comprehension, and there are some questionable options being bandied about by the pixel-stained wretches at the digital rags aspiring to the heights of your esteemed preference, the not even locally renowned HockeyChat.ca. 

Team U.S.A. in a friendly. Last week.

Team U.S.A. in a friendly. Last week.

Following shall be some lists compiled by lesser hockey minds. Fools. Those that threw like girls as children and young adults. But first I’d like to thank NUMBERS for messing up the surprise and pattern of these posts by giving his dream Team U.S.A. on the Team Canada thread. Thanks, buddy.

Sorry there aren’t more charts than these, and we apologise that they aren’t as dolled up as all of those Canadian choices. It’s rather difficile to find this stuff on American sites. It’s almost as though Yanks hate hockey. Well, I guess that means they also hate the Baby Jesus! Any who, study these lists for what they are. Leftist crap! Canuckistan propaganda! An affront to the individual freedoms and rights of Americans the world over. But first, an introduction from BleacherNation:

Some Americans that actually LOVE the Baby Jesus.

Some Americans that actually LOVE the Baby Jesus.

Stan Bowman is going to be a busy man in the next 10 months. Not only is the President of Hockey Operations and General Manager of the Chicago Blackhawks going to have to navigate a trade deadline, potential playoff run, expansion draft, entry draft, summer free agency, and the opening of next season, but he’ll also have to worry about how he’s going to put together a USA Hockey club for the 2022 Beijing Winter Olympics that can bring home a Gold Medal.

Bowman was officially named the General Manager for the 2022 Team USA Men’s Hockey club on Wednesday, along with Minnesota Wild General Manager Bill Guerin as his assistant GM. While this is all contingent on the NHL, IIHF, and IOC coming to an agreement to allow NHL players to participate in the Winter Olympics again in 2022, the understanding is that an agreement will be made at some point. If no agreement is made, then no NHL players means no Bowman, as well.

With the roster construction looking philosophically different in the last three major tournaments for Team USA with NHL players, the question will be how will Bowman and Guerin navigate possibly the deepest talent pool the USA has had to choose from in Olympic history. In 2010, Team USA was built to be scrappy and make games difficult for more talented squads and took home Silver. In 2014, Team USA was built to be top-heavy but flamed out and lost in the Bronze Medal game to Finland. In the 2016 World Cup of Hockey, Team USA was built to be an imposing, gritty squad but ended up looking silly against much faster line ups with top-end talent.

Olde tyme hockey! No helmets. Just toques.

Olde tyme hockey! No helmets. Just toques.

A questionable list, but at least it has a good Canadian boy in Auston Matthews.
Some pretty boys there. But, can they play hockey?

Some pretty boys there. But, can they play hockey?

WTF!!! Is this guy drunk? Gaudreau on the FIRST LINE!?!?

WTF!!! Is this guy drunk? Gaudreau on the FIRST LINE!?!?

WTF!!! Is this guy slightly high? Gaudreau on the TEAM!?!?

WTF!!! Is this guy slightly high? Gaudreau on the TEAM!?!?

These are just some men’s opinions. Apparently the opinions of men cheering on teams other than the Good Ole’ U.S. of God Damn A! The bureau chief of HockeyChat.ca’s American office feels that none are the epitome of American excellence. Although that is probably because unlike previous teams, these aren’t heavily laden with Canadians or sons of Canadians. Sure there is Hughes and Matthews, but the rest are almost all pur-sang Yank.

“Dag gummit! Where the Hell is Lafleur?”

HockeyChat’s U.S. bureau chief pipes up about the proposed team selections. Maybe it’s time we recall him.

That bottom team still has Gaudreau on it, but the graphics are wonderful! Any who, spew one’s opinion below. This is all one gets for Easter Sunday. And once again, a special thanks to NUMBERS for jumping the gun in the Canadian thread. I bet he has a problem with doing that elsewhere. Enjoy: 

Look only at the bottom team. Nothing else to see here, folks.

Look only at the bottom team. Nothing else to see here, folks.