Lettres de Denis

Denis talks to Marc Bergevin

Salut, Brandon! 

Allo, mon amie avec la cock no where da size de Ned Braden. Dat mus explain why your wife haf da small mouth, hein. I wonder do you like da name Brando or Brandon? I doan care because I doan expeck you to be arown much longer, but I tot it be more polite. 

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Tabernac! You are Brendan, not Brandon? Well dat explain nuttin’ ’cause no won really care we all tink you will be gone afore da next season do da start. Tell me Brendo. What were you tinking at da time you do da ting where you ‘ire your boytoy pour la job over dat Eyetalian Lamorrello? Did you not tink to ask dem dat hone, HONE da Leafs?

Brendo, do you get all da jealous because da guy from da Sault Ste. Marie dat you love ‘as ‘ired da guy as da coach dat just lost da game but he show you no attention? I tink he av da ting for da Keefe. You should call your manager and hask im to trade you da fuck out of ‘ere! 

Hi know you are probably tinking ‘why is dis guy writing to me? ‘e usually write to da general managers’ de la team. Well, I know Kyle would not be aware enough to talk to me wit out givin’ me a ten million contract, and you are da guy dat ‘ired da Kyle, so I tot I’d chat avec you before you both get da fired.

Do you ever wonder what you were made for, Brendo? Why you are on da Hurth? Well, it obviously was not to run l’equipe d’hockey! LOL Tell me Brenny, what make you tink dat a kid wit no hexperience oo be in love wit da paedophile victim is better dan da guy dat run da London team uv Hinglish pigs? 

Brendan, I’m not here to do da tings like da slash on your career. You already did dat! lol. No, Brendo, I’m wondering why you signed da record free agent contract to a clearly failing and ageing player dat will hand cuff your successor for years? And why do you guys do da ting where you fight for da power over da players, yet give Matthews and Marner lottery winning deals as stage one RFAs?

So ‘ow did you like tonight’s game, Brendo? You must ‘ave been proud, eh? 55% of da team cap did 100% of da losing! lol Hand da guy dat was a minors coach last year proved it dis play hoff. You must be reaching for Pegula levels of failure. 

Anyway, Brendo, I doan mean to make you feel all ashamed and like you hav da penalty for slashing. Hi jus’ wan’ to point out dat you are, you know, useless at your job. But, dat doan make you a bad man. Imagine da life in prison or on skid row that must be lead by da guy dat ‘ired you! 

Shanahan and Dubas discuss tactics.

Shanahan and Dubas discuss tactics.

Brendon, I do not know ‘ow many times I ask myself what it is you are trying to do; den I see you doan know either! lol But what must be worse, is trying to track down da clown dat do da hire of you. 

Cheesus de la Christ, Brendon! Dat guy Tim is da guy dat ‘ired you? An’ now he be da Kraken ‘Ed guy? Dat explain a lot. 

Brendo: how did it feel to see Travis, Mariner, Nylan, and dat guy wit’ da idiot name score all of those no goals and no shots when you got your ass handed to you by a poorly coached team of injury victims? Oh well. Not to mind. Dare is always next year at St. George’s. Good luck wit’ dose lawns.